Raising and Praising Young Athletes
As a parent, sharing the love for sports with your children is something so rewarding and something to cherish. Raising and Praising young athletes at the same time is key to do this in a successful way. Besides the obvious benefits of enjoying seeing them play, there can be some challenging moments for both parents and their athletes. Specifically, when those famous teenage years hit!
Your way of supporting your child and how you thought you always did it right, is no longer perceived that way. For sports parents that deal with these challenges, keep in mind this is just a phase and it is part of your athletes growing up and becoming more independent.
Raising and Praising young Athletes
Step in their shoes
As an example, think back about the first practice you had your teen participating in. He or she had to welcome new teammates, a new Coach and had to adjust to a different approach regarding practice methods and styles. On the sideline, you had your first opportunity to meet the parents of teammates.
The way your child experienced this first practice may have been in line with how you perceived it. On the contrary, it is possible that you both had a completely different take on things. Though it is tempting to share your opinion the moment you get in the car for the ride back home, it is important for your teen if you hold back. Check your athlete’s mood and level of tiredness first by simply asking what they thought of the practice. If not much of a response comes out, it is wise to leave the conversation for another day.
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If your teen however starts to share with excitement how fun it was, ask more specifically what excited him or her. You can ask if names of new teammates were picked up and how they perceived the Coach’s training style.
If instead of excitement, you notice disappointment coming from your teen, try to find out what it was that did not lead up to the expectations. Once it is more clear to you how your athlete’s experience of their first practice was, it is easier to connect with him or her. You can try to share some more input about things you noticed from the sidelines. It will create a moment where your teen feels you have their back and that you are there to support him or her.
Raising and Praising young Athletes
Do not embarrass them
Anyone who has been or currently is raising a teenager knows all too well how embarrassing it can be to your child that you have to be their parent. Even with the best intentions and at moments you are following their advice, you still fall short. Parents are not cool, even when they think they are. In a teenagers mind, only the parents of their friends might get that label, but not their own.
You can try to explain to your son or daughter how it makes you feel, when it comes across you are only good enough for all the rides, filling the fridge and providing money for whenever they need it. No matter in what way you bring it, it is not going to sink in for the long run.
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On moments when you notice your teenager is not in the ME-mood (that mood where the whole world seems to involve only around them) try to playfully bring to their attention that being a parent is still something you really enjoy. Asking at that moment for some more respect in general, especially in public for example around their games and team mates, will make more of an impression than at the time when you have gotten frustrated with their behavior.
Then when it really comes down to not embarrassing them, do not ask them to list everything that triggers them. Just lay back, let them do their thing and patiently wait in the background till they ask for your attention. And to round this up… Do not think this is personal. I still have to meet that one sports parent in a gym that does not recognize any of what was just described.
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Raising and Praising young Athletes
Document their progress
Now, when your child was younger (pre teen and way earlier) you applied and got yourself the job as designated photographer, which is great. Times have changed though and it is no longer that great in your teenagers opinion! Respect that and hold back jumping onto every opportunity to shoot pictures and share them on social media outlets.
If your child asks you to film his or her game, then go for it. After you have done that a couple times, you will soon find out what they would like you to film. You can encourage and help them document and upload their files if they like that.
One of my teens is on a Basketball team where the Coach has actually brought it to the team’s attention that a parent will document progress at practices and games, to create memories. I think it is a very good idea and it is a fun way to save pictures for the times when they are going to be more interested in looking back at their sports journey.
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Raising and Praising young Athletes
Be their greatest fan
With all being said, if you are fortunate enough that your teen would like you to come to their games to support them, do just that. Support them! Show a positive attitude, also when he or she is playing less than you had expected. Be a motivator and cheer on the rest of the team as much as your own athlete. Always be mindful that not every parent can be there and every young athlete deserves support.
Once the game ends, be there for your teen but make sure to respect the mindset they are in. If they seem down, you are there to support them when they are ready to talk about it (usually not in the gym after a lost game!) or when they don’t want to talk about it at all.
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Win or Lose, you always let your teenager know how you enjoyed watching him or her work hard. That there will be a next game or next season and that losing games is sometimes as valuable as winning them.
Sports and Parenting are so intertwined. If you manage to mix well, the relationship with your teen athlete can be very enjoyable for both of you. Never forget how much influence a great coach can have on your young athlete. And do not underestimate the value of teaming up with sports parents ‘that get it’ and that reflect the mindset of raising and praising athletes, and not just their own!
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